Autism

Outward behavior is only one part of the picture.

Stereotypes and Recognition

Some have spent years dismissing the possibility that they might be autistic because what they understood autism to be did not seem to fit.

Autism has often been portrayed narrowly, emphasizing certain presentations while overlooking others. As a result, someone may assume they cannot be autistic because they are empathic, socially interested, verbally skilled, successful in some areas of life, or able to function well enough on the outside.

Our work will include developing a broader understanding of what autism can look like. The goal is not to fit yourself into a label, but to better understand your own experience.

Stigma and Shame

Stereotypes are one obstacle to recognition. Stigma is another.

Many autistic individuals grow up receiving messages, directly or indirectly, that they are too sensitive, too intense, too much, not enough, or somehow different from what is expected.

Over time, this can lead someone to believe there is something wrong with them rather than recognizing that they need something different.

Difference alone does not create shame. Shame often develops when differences are met with pressure to conform.

A significant part of our work together involves developing a more accurate understanding of yourself, recognizing where self-critical beliefs came from, and creating room for greater self-acceptance and self-compassion.

The Cost of Adapting

Many have spent years expecting themselves to fit into typical structures of work and success.

They may push themselves to keep up, work harder, do more, and need less. They may expect themselves to work nonstop without enough breaks throughout the day.

Trying to fit what the system wants of you may not work, or it may cost too much of your energy and well-being.

The cost can be anxiety and exhaustion.

When someone realizes they have been holding themselves to standards that do not fit their nervous system, they may suddenly recognize that they are not a failure.

They may begin to understand that their environment has not brought out the best in them.

Nervous System and Sensory Needs

Autism can be as much a nervous system experience as it is a social one.

Sensory sensitivity can be part of this. Noise, light, touch, crowds, or other forms of stimulation can have a significant effect. For others, overwhelm builds through the cumulative effects of activity, demands, stress, and social interaction.

Some spend years moving too fast, doing too much, and expecting themselves to function at a pace their nervous system cannot sustain.

This is especially difficult in a culture that rewards productivity, busyness, and pushing through discomfort. Workplaces often leave little room for the pacing, recovery, or accommodations that may be needed.

A Body-Centered Approach

Many try to determine what they need through thinking alone. Often the body already knows. Part of our work is learning how to listen.

I can help you stay present with physical experience and notice what is happening in your body as we work together.

The therapy session itself can become a place to practice listening to your internal experience.

Together, we can learn to recognize when enough is enough, when a break is needed, when something feels right, and when it does not. This information can help guide decisions both inside and outside of therapy.

Self-Advocacy, Disclosure, and Relationships

As you begin to understand yourself more clearly, you may become aware of needs that have gone unrecognized for years.

This may include asking for accommodations, setting boundaries, making different choices, or seeking support from others.

This can feel vulnerable. It is common to worry about rejection, being misunderstood, or making others uncomfortable by asking for what you need.

For some, needs that were previously ignored or overridden become more visible. This can be surprising both for them and for those around them. Relationships may need to rebalance as a result.

Building a Life That Fits

A foundation for building a sustainable and fulfilling life is understanding yourself: your limits, your pace, and what helps you function well.

Accommodations, support, pacing, recovery, and different choices are not signs of failure. They are often what allow you to do your best work in a way that is sustainable over time.

FAQ

Why have autism diagnoses increased in recent years?

Understanding of autism has expanded, especially around internal or less visible presentations. Many people who would have been missed before are now being recognized. This reflects changes in awareness and criteria rather than a sudden increase in autism itself.

Why do I feel overwhelmed in situations others seem fine in?

Your system may be processing more input at once, including sensory, emotional, or cognitive input, even if it isn’t visible from the outside.

Why can eye contact feel difficult?

For some people, eye contact increases sensory load or pulls attention away from processing what is being said. Looking away can make it easier to think, listen, or stay regulated.

Why can being seen feel uncomfortable or exposing?

For some, being visible, especially in open or social spaces, can feel exposing. It may be less about fear of judgment and more about the intensity of being perceived.